The Dirty F Word

Feminism. Feminist. Feminazi.

There are many descriptions given to men and women that advocate the progression of women's rights. Some terms are derogatory and said with spite or derision, and some are said proudly.

The official definition of feminism:

fem·i·nism

/ˈfeməˌnizəm/ · noun

The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality of the sexes.

In light of the recent video/audio leaks and past discretions of our presidential candidates, I believe that this is the most important time to point out the platform women's rights has.

Women have been fighting for equality as early as 1848, when the first women's rights convention was held in Seneca Falls, New York. To put that into perspective, that was before the Civil War began— 13 years before in fact.

In light of what Trump said last Friday, that he defended in the debate was "just locker room talk," was actually speaking on assaulting women and advocating that he had the right to do so because he was "a star," "they let you do it," and simply because he "got away with it."

All his words, not mine.

We can go on and on about how terrible both candidates are about standing up for women, or even respecting them as human beings, but we aren't going to deflect here and get away from this issue as I've seen so many people doing while debating.

What Trump said is not only disgusting, slimy and deplorable, but it is inaccurate. It isn't locker room talk.

Self-respecting men that have any kind of backbone do not go around bragging about assaulting women.

I'm not as disgusted by what Trump said, but more so by how many people defended him. I like to think that I surround myself with people that are open-minded and will stand up for what is right, but I realized this week, that isn't the case.

If we're being honest with each other, I went home Monday and laid in bed for 3 hours, depressed about how little faith I had left in humanity, wondering if there was anything I could do to stop what seems like a downward spiral of how we treat each other.

I've seen people share this meme:

The unfortunate photo circulating around social media.

It isn't "naughty words" that has offended people, it is the fact that a man running to be the leader of our country has showed who he really is, and how he has lived his life for the past 70 years. If you think his half-assed apology was REAL or HEARTFELT, then you have disillusioned yourself beyond help— just like if you believe that Hillary is remorseful about anything she's done. I feel like I have to interject that because people always assume I adore her when I speak out against Trump. I don't, by the way.

He feels no real sorrow or remorse for what he did, and I believe he will strike again.

Here is the infamous quote from the transcript of the conversation between Trump and Billy Bush in 2005:

Trump: "Yeah, that’s her, with the gold. I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. I just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. 

Unidentified voice: "Whatever you want."

Trump: "Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."

[crosstalk and chuckling]

Now, some have defended him with: "he said this before he knew he was running for president," "this was a private conversation," "Hillary has done worse" etc.

No matter who you are, or what you plan to do in your future, I think that this kind talk is backward and I personally would not affiliate myself with someone who spoke like this about another human being.

Like they were an object to consume.

He's talking about your wife, your sister, your daughter, your mother. He would assault them because, as he said, he wouldn't wait to see if they gave consent. Well, only if he thinks they're attractive enough.

All of that being said, I also think he is setting a dangerous trend. We, as Americans, need to acknowledge that we have a rape culture. This whole audio ordeal is a prime example of that, and that women still have fighting to do.

If we didn't have a rape culture, then a more acceptable amount of people would have been outraged by what he said and would have pulled their support and kicked him off the ticket somehow. But they didn't.

Women have been fighting for equality for over 100 years, and this goes to show that under the very thin skin that holds our civilized society together, we revealed that we actually have not changed that much.

I wonder how different the public's response would have been if Hillary was the one that said what Trump said. And defended it the way he did.

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.” 

― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

We like to tout that we are so progressive in America, more so than anywhere else in the world, but that's like sticking our heads in the sand because we're too proud to admit that we actually aren't as progressive as we'd like to believe.

From the responses to Trump from those defending him, or attacking him, it was ugly. It showed we all have more work to do.

I'm just tired of people being ugly to each other. 

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen