Trying to explain anxiety

As someone that has been dealing with anxiety for the past two years, I feel like everything is starting to come to a head in the coming weeks. I can feel my chest starting to tighten just thinking about it.

I've got to prepare for being a real adult now so I can no longer have a "student attitude," of "it'll get done eventually."

Because "eventually" becomes now, and procrastinating has real life consequences—not just a suffering grade. That's pretty scary when all you've known is school and part-time jobs for 22 years.

The hardest part about dealing with anxiety has to be how it affects the people around you, though.

Taken from http://favim.com/image/4603877/

When you have anxiety, you don't get to control what bothers you. Which for some people, makes the anxiety worse.

I'm not really sure what started my anxiety, but I remember the first time I had an attack. Two years ago, I thought that I was handling my job, school, and personal life well.

I was driving down south Western, and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe because it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. My ears were ringing, and I thought I was going to pass out.

It happened at a stoplight, and I'm sure if any of the other cars looked over at me, I probably looked like I was crazy.

I was terrified. Not knowing what was happening, I managed to make it home gasping for air, crying, and clueless as to what was happening to me.

My boyfriend of five years, Jake, was panicking after I walked in the door because he didn't know what was wrong, and I couldn't catch my breath long enough to tell him. All I could get out was, "I-- Can't..... Breathe."

Poor guy wanted to rush me to the hospital. Maybe I should have gone.

It took 2 more months of these random episodes for me to go to my doctor, where she told me I had severe anxiety, and put me on medication, which I was able to stop taking in about a year.

Since stopping, I haven't had severe attacks; the worst one happened Tuesday, as all of my projects were due, graduation is quickly approaching, and everything in life is changing. I don't handle sudden, big changes very well.

I hated that during this last anxiety attack, I couldn't explain to Jake what was bothering me. "Everything" just doesn't seem to do it. Plus, he's a fixer, so if I tell him something bothers me, he wants to help by fixing whatever it is so I can be happy.

He really is a fantastic guy.

The thing is, I don't know if you can just fix anxiety. And it's almost impossible to explain to someone,who has never had anxiety, why you feel anxious about something that seems like a completely normal and simple situation to them.

Luckily for me, my family and my loving boyfriend support me when I have these tough times, and they don't judge me. Sometimes I know that they get frustrated, but it's because they want to help me, and sometimes don't know how.

Word of advice if you have someone you love that deals with anxiety: they want to be better, and they're trying their best for you too.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Butter in my morning brew

In the past year or so, I've started to really have a love for coffee. As a college student, I had decided that if I would ever survive working a 40-hour week and a 17-credit hour semester, I needed the bitter nectar in my life.


I forced myself to drink it until I didn't hate it anymore, basically.

Well I've been trying a lot of new things with my coffee, just so that it isn't the same old, same old every single morning.

Recently I've tried 2 new methods when making my mornin' cup o' Joe: using Stevia and adding butter.


DISCLAIMER.

I love my coffee with creamer and sugar, which for some reason opens you up for jokes in the newsroom. Oh well; I like what I like.

Anyway, I was recently turned on to Stevia, which is a sugar substitute that is much sweeter and a much healthier alternative to regular sugar, as it is derived from the leaves of stevia plants.

It has been used in Latin American cultures for centuries, and also shows to have additional health benefits.

Plus, it's only $6 for a bag at your local WalMart or Crest, or probably any health food store, and it seems to last longer than sugar.

Stevia; sugar substitute. Looks like Colombian Bam Bam but oh well.

It's light, almost like powdered sugar, and by using it, I've noticed that I can use less than half of the sugar I used to put in my coffee. It's just that sweet. If that isn't a plus, then I don't know what is.

I'd like to try baking desserts with it, so you'll have to look out for that post!

OK, so here is the crazy one: butter in my coffee.

Yeah, that's right. Butter. In. My. Coffee.

Everyone that I've spoken with about it has either shown absolute disgust for the idea, or was really interested as to why I've been doing it.

It all goes back to the kind of butter you use. Kerry Gold, an Irish, imported, grass-fed butter, is the most common type that I've seen.

Grass-fed butter is one of the healthiest fats you can find, and before you think, "but fats are bad right?" just listen.

Now I can really get into the 400 different fatty acids that are found in grass-fed butter, but I'll spare you all of that talk. If you want to read more up on it, check out EcoWatch.

Basically, this butter contains a whole heck of a lot of conjugated linoleic acid (CLA), which is a very popular weight loss supplement.

Not only is it great for your metabolism, but it drastically reduces your chances of heart disease.

Keep in mind, all things in moderation. It is still butter, so I don't eat a lot of it, but I try to put a little dab in my morning coffee once a day.

Honestly, not only does it taste good now, it really makes me feel better. I feel more awake and energized. Seriously.

I used to drink 2-3 cups of coffee each morning, but now I feel great after just one. Sometimes, I only drink half a cup now for that same reason!

I recommend trying it if you want another small thing to help boost your metabolism, or you should just try it because it's new, and you can't knock it until you do.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

A day of infamy: forgotten

"What happened on December 7 in 1941?"

My professor posed this question to my History of Journalism class this morning. I have to say I was embarrassed that one of the other students, known for inserting small comments every now and then, confidently interjected, "D-Day."

Pearl Harbor is the second largest terrorist attack that occurred on American soil in our country's history. Over 2,400 Americans died, military and civilians combined, and my generation doesn't even know the date by heart.

The USS Arizona Memorial where around 1,000 men are entombed in the harbor still.

Ask a Millenial what happened on September 11, 2001 and they will all be able to answer that correctly. Almost 3,000 people died on 9/11— just 600 people more, but it sticks out in my generation's memory just because it was more recent.

Our public education system is failing my generation if we can't also rattle off what occurred on that day in 1941 just as quickly as 9/11.

I count myself lucky that I come from a military family where sharing knowledge and history is common. I know some people aren't as fortunate in that aspect, but I don't think there is an excuse for not knowing when Pearl Harbor happened.

It was like the 9/11 attack of their time, and we should know that by heart.

"Yesterday, December 7, 1941 — a date which will live in infamy — the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan."

President Franklin D. Roosevelt was quoted saying the above to Congress in a call to war speech that made history in itself.

I believe that we need to continue to bring this up to the younger generations— along with the other events that occurred before, and since. Educate them, show them the grisly images, the screaming of citizens and the billows of smoke coming from the bombed carriers.

The past is ugly, and we need to know it so that we can avoid it for the future.

Remember, if we do not teach and do not know what happened in the past, we are doomed to repeat it.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Motivation and procrastination

So something really personal about me: I recently found out I have an under-active thyroid that most likely was a result from taking prescribed anti-depressants last year. So that kind of sucks.

If you know me personally, you'd know that I've been struggling with my weight and motivation the past couple of months. I constantly feel motivated to improve myself at the worst times, like 2 a.m.

It's terrible because no one goes to the gym at 2 a.m. when they have to get up at 7. So that's something to work on.

I hope that writing this will make me feel more accountable, because I told you guys I want to change, so now I actually have to do it.

Blogger Sara Rash-From Texas With Love

Something that's been motivating me is I keep seeing these super successful, gorgeous people. Even more motivating is that they are usually my age.

For instance, Sara Rash here is a blogger and just seems like she has her life put together.

I mean, I know I don't have a photographer following me around to take pictures of me as I stop to contemplate the world and its intricacies on top of a hay bale, but still.

She seems so well put together and it's hard not to feel envious.

It makes me stop and think, "If they can do it, why can't I?"

Oh yeah, I'm the kind of person who procrastinates everything, gets anxious about the little things, and I can't seem to get my weight in control.

It also doesn't help that I hate your regular staples of what is considered "healthy food" and feel tired constantly.

I mean, I tried the Paleo "lifestyle change" last year for about six months, and honestly it wasn't terrible. After the first three weeks of dying and hating myself for putting myself through this, it was really easy to say no to processed foods.

I think my boyfriend and I lost a lot of weight, just by eating better; he lost about 30 pounds and I lost 15. This was with no added exercise, so I'm sure we would have been looking pretty sexy if we tried a little harder.

We stopped eating Paleo because funds became tight, as I was starting my last year of college and all that jazz.

But I think we'll hop back on since we know we can do it, and the food is, for the most part, pretty great.

I mean, we'll still probably have treat days, because everyone deserves to TREAT YO'SELF. But note to self: "treat yo self" is a scared day in which one does not let bleed into other days of the week.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Cred on the streets and in the kitchen

Hold onto your pants you guys, we just found a replacement show while we wait for HBO to finish filming Game of Thrones.

On a real note, Martha and Snoop's Potluck Dinner Party premiered on Monday and I think it was a great way to relax and have fun in the midst of all the craziness of the election.

I haven't gotten to watch it yet, as I was covering the election in our newsroom (we had 15,000 viewers that tuned in to our TRILINGUAL coverage of the election), but you can bet I will be hopping on that gravy train ASAP.

The first episode is called "Putting the Pot in Potluck" and they actually don't make what you'd see at a potluck— shocking I know.

They had a specialty fried chicken cook-off with guests actor Seth Rogan, and rappers Ice Cube and Wiz Khalifa.

I'm definitely going to tune out the negativity and hate from the election, and tune in to possibly get an incredible fried chicken recipe.

I also want to point out that Snoop Dogg, formerly known as Snoop Lion and formerly formerly known as Snoop Dogg, is hilarious by himself. If you haven't seen him narrate otters in a nature documentary, please look at the video below.



It's adorable. I don't really know what else to say about that.

Some people have critiqued VH1 saying, "they must be running out of ideas," but I think that this brainchild will be so entertaining to watch.

Stay tuned, I'll be back with updates, but I promise I won't spoil who won the cook-off!

UPDATE:

That was probably the best show I've watched in a long time! I haven't laughed that hard in a hot minute, so I recommend checking it out.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

No singing on Thanksgiving?

Alright guys.

It's the day after Halloween and we all know what that means:

1.  Rush to your local market and grab a bag of Halloween candy for $1. If it's not $1, it's not worth it.
2. And also:

Good ol' Ned telling it how it is.

I've already seen people posting their Christmas playlists with the hashtags, #NoShame with date countdowns.

Be proud, I guess.

I just find it really strange that Thanksgiving doesn't really have any holiday songs and there is a huge market for it.

I for one, would jam out to Thanksgiving music for the next month if I could. Instead, I have to watch Bob's Burgers Thanksgiving episodes on repeat to get in the holiday spirit— not that I'm complaining. 

For example, my family and I listen to Twisted Sister's Christmas song covers, the album is titled "A Twisted Christmas" by the way, and I think that maybe they can come up with something, yeah?

Maybe songs about your crazy uncle getting drunk, grandpa burning the turkey and grandma losing it, or little Joey eating too much turkey and throwing up. You know, normal family holiday craziness. 

I'd buy it.                      
                                                        Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen                                               

Fall? More like fail.

This fall has been really disappointing so far.

The leaves are changing, the grass on campus is dying and yet they are still watering it, and people like me are walking around in fall/winter gear despite the 80 degree weather outside.

Like we're just hoping that if we believe, that real fall weather will arrive.

I heard today that we are supposed to have a very mild winter, and that in itself was a bummer.

I'm ready for the chilly mornings, and to stuff myself with my grandpa's legendary Thanksgiving ham.

Also, my Christmas tree is just waiting to be put up. And you can't do that when it's "mild" outside!

It should be getting colder for the snow. How many years has it been since Oklahoma had a white Christmas?

Perhaps the real problem is location. I should start planning on moving to the east coast sooner if the weather there is more "normal" for the seasons.

It just stinks when you appreciate Southern hospitality so much.

Either way, despite my post about pumpkin spice season, I have yet to buy my first pumpkin spice latte for the year.

Why?

You can probably guess.

It's too hot!

I don't know about you guys, but I plan on going home, turning my AC unit up full blast, and I'm going to pretend that I'm outside, and try to delude myself into thinking it's cold enough for some warm tea.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

#WhyNotRepealTheWholeBillOfRights

So apparently #Repealthe19th is a thing.

Just so you know, the 19th amendment gives women the right to vote.

The amendment states that the right of citizens to vote "shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

Now, this hashtag has been circulating on Twitter and many thought that this must be a joke. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but some extremists are dead serious about keeping women from voting.

Demographics are destiny.#RepealThe15th #RepealThe19th pic.twitter.com/4TLCCRbApW

— Nathanael Strickland (@faith_heritage) October 20, 2016

I would also like to point out in the tweet above, that this man also thinks the 15th Amendment should be repealed.

For those of you that would like to brush up on your rights really quick, the 15th Amendment to the Constitution granted African American men the right to vote by declaring that the "right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude."

That's right. This guy thinks that women and "people of color" should not be allowed to vote, despite their citizenship.

Unfortunately, this man isn't alone.

This trending hashtag started after a tweet from FiveThirtyEight's Chief Editor, Nate Silver, was put out on the social media site:

Here's what the map would look line if only women voted: https://t.co/sjVY67qouE pic.twitter.com/rrc3GuXmGl

— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) October 11, 2016

And a following picture was posted that showed if "just dudes voted," with a red map of the United States. The site claims that these demographic maps are based off of Public Religion Research Institution Poll on behalf of the Atlantic.

I'm not sure if Silver intended or anticipated this reaction, but Strickland's, and some other Trump supporters', reactions to this is absolutely ignorant and intolerant.

You don't like that other people disagree with you, so you want to start a trend to take away their right to vote? You're allowed to have your opinion —you have that right— but if you want to take away my rights you can pry my ballot from my cold, lifeless fingers.

Thousands of men and women died for my rights and those of other Americans. This has got to be a joke right?

There is even more unfortunate news. There are women who are supporting this hashtag.

I would be willing to give up my right to vote to make this happen #repealthe19th https://t.co/vndQu9dKFP

— CT Christian 4 Trump (@PrayHealourland) October 12, 2016

This has got to be the most disappointing moment, for me personally, in this whole farce of an election.

The right to vote is the core to our democracy. Our fair and equal right to vote is what separates Americans from the rest of the world.

Some people on Twitter are saying Trump supporters don't actually mean it and Liberals are just using this hashtag to demonize the Conservatives.

I honestly don't give a damn who you're voting for or who you align yourself with, but it's hard to brush off when people post this:

Giving women the right to vote was the first step in the downfall of western society. They voted us straight into communism.#repealthe19th

— Leo Babenberg V (@L_Babenberg) October 13, 2016

It's a little hard to believe that people don't actually believe the hashtag and are just "trolling." This user is in Austria by the way, and I think I got cancer reading through the hate this user propagates.

Luckily there are men and women in our country that are appalled by this trend, so there's that. A lot of them happen to be Trump supporters, I know personally, as well.

I wonder how they feel though, when the idiocy of others paints the Republican party that way? I know not all Conservatives think this way, just like how not all Liberals support some of the garbage other Democrats say. Some might not be as open-minded though.

I just think, if you wouldn't give up your right to bear arms, your right to free speech, your right to your religion, why in the world would you give up your right to vote? Why would you want to stop your fellow Americans from voting?

It was a little eye-opening that there is still so much hate and bigotry in the world, that others would strip basic, human rights from others, simply because of differing opinions. My faith in humanity has reached an all-time low that this is what we've come to this election.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

How to own "being basic"

I'm young. I'm female. I'm white. I love leggings, flannel, and fall. I adore pumpkin spice flavored everything.

Basically, I am the definition of "basic."

According to Urban Dictionary, being basic is:

An adjective used to describe any person, place, [or] activity involving obscenely obvious behavior, dress, [or] action... Used to describe someone devoid of defining characteristics that might make a person interesting, extraordinary, or just simply worth devoting time or attention to.

This might be a little harsh, saying a person is so cookie-cutter that they have no differing qualities than someone else, but it honestly doesn't bother me.

I am what I am, and hey— pumpkin spice is delicious. 

I "PowerPuffed" myself months ago, but didn't realize the levels of basicness until it was too late.

I look forward to fall every year because I have an excuse to wear leggings, boots, scarves, and walk around drinking hot coffee.

But thanks to the Gods of Basic, we now can enjoy pumpkin spice everything!

It didn't occur to me until a recent trip to the mall, how many variations of the spice has been adapted to different food groups. At that particular trip, my friend and I stopped at Auntie Anne's, because those pretzels just smelled so delicious.

I knew what I wanted—a regular salted pretzel with cheese dipping sauce. Lo and behold, we get to the cashier, and she looks at my friend (who also may be classified as basic) and me and recommends we try the new Pumpkin Spice pretzel bites.

They were delicious, by the way.

Was I offended that this person found her target audience? Not at all! I'm glad she recommended it.

I didn't get the icing dip they came with though. Girl's got to have boundaries.

I walked around with this cup of pretzel bites and shared them with cashiers at all of the shops we stopped at, and the cashiers were all surprised they existed too.

I was happy to share the pumpkin spice addiction. 


Since then, I've kept an eye out for pumpkin spice flavored items, just to see what else would be gifted to us basic girls this season.

Another trip to a different mall (I really don't go that much, I promise) yielded this discovery:

I love me some Teavana.

Pumpkin spice warm tea! Now this is something I can get behind.

This was taken at Teavana, and if you've never been, you need to check it out. They have samples of different kinds of tea you can brew, and this one took the cake.

Imagine: sitting out on your back porch, wrapped up in some slippers and pjs on a crisp morning, sipping some freshly brewed, warm tea. Tell me you don't enjoy the fall.

This tasted more like spice, and less like pumpkin, but it was also a little sweet. I hate bitter tea so I was all over this.

I haven't bought it though, because I'm pretty broke.

Hopefully at my next paycheck, they won't be sold out.

On another excursion with some friends to try a ramen place in the Plaza District, we stopped afterward into Roxy's homemade ice cream shop, even though there was a line out the door!

Roxy's pumpkin spice ice cream.

Once at the counter, I didn't even get a chance to look at all of the unique flavors that were there, because my basic radar went off, and I honed in on the pumpkin spice flavored ice cream.

Also, very delicious.

All I have to say is this: don't let people make you feel bad because you like something. If you aren't hurting anyone, then what's the harm in indulging in seasonal things?

To me, this is like telling someone not to enjoy Christmas. Pumpkin spice should have its own holiday.

Fingers crossed that happens sometime in my lifetime.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

The Dirty F Word

Feminism. Feminist. Feminazi.

There are many descriptions given to men and women that advocate the progression of women's rights. Some terms are derogatory and said with spite or derision, and some are said proudly.

The official definition of feminism:

fem·i·nism

/ˈfeməˌnizəm/ · noun

The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality of the sexes.

In light of the recent video/audio leaks and past discretions of our presidential candidates, I believe that this is the most important time to point out the platform women's rights has.

Women have been fighting for equality as early as 1848, when the first women's rights convention was held in Seneca Falls, New York. To put that into perspective, that was before the Civil War began— 13 years before in fact.

In light of what Trump said last Friday, that he defended in the debate was "just locker room talk," was actually speaking on assaulting women and advocating that he had the right to do so because he was "a star," "they let you do it," and simply because he "got away with it."

All his words, not mine.

We can go on and on about how terrible both candidates are about standing up for women, or even respecting them as human beings, but we aren't going to deflect here and get away from this issue as I've seen so many people doing while debating.

What Trump said is not only disgusting, slimy and deplorable, but it is inaccurate. It isn't locker room talk.

Self-respecting men that have any kind of backbone do not go around bragging about assaulting women.

I'm not as disgusted by what Trump said, but more so by how many people defended him. I like to think that I surround myself with people that are open-minded and will stand up for what is right, but I realized this week, that isn't the case.

If we're being honest with each other, I went home Monday and laid in bed for 3 hours, depressed about how little faith I had left in humanity, wondering if there was anything I could do to stop what seems like a downward spiral of how we treat each other.

I've seen people share this meme:

The unfortunate photo circulating around social media.

It isn't "naughty words" that has offended people, it is the fact that a man running to be the leader of our country has showed who he really is, and how he has lived his life for the past 70 years. If you think his half-assed apology was REAL or HEARTFELT, then you have disillusioned yourself beyond help— just like if you believe that Hillary is remorseful about anything she's done. I feel like I have to interject that because people always assume I adore her when I speak out against Trump. I don't, by the way.

He feels no real sorrow or remorse for what he did, and I believe he will strike again.

Here is the infamous quote from the transcript of the conversation between Trump and Billy Bush in 2005:

Trump: "Yeah, that’s her, with the gold. I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her. You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. I just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. 

Unidentified voice: "Whatever you want."

Trump: "Grab them by the pussy. You can do anything."

[crosstalk and chuckling]

Now, some have defended him with: "he said this before he knew he was running for president," "this was a private conversation," "Hillary has done worse" etc.

No matter who you are, or what you plan to do in your future, I think that this kind talk is backward and I personally would not affiliate myself with someone who spoke like this about another human being.

Like they were an object to consume.

He's talking about your wife, your sister, your daughter, your mother. He would assault them because, as he said, he wouldn't wait to see if they gave consent. Well, only if he thinks they're attractive enough.

All of that being said, I also think he is setting a dangerous trend. We, as Americans, need to acknowledge that we have a rape culture. This whole audio ordeal is a prime example of that, and that women still have fighting to do.

If we didn't have a rape culture, then a more acceptable amount of people would have been outraged by what he said and would have pulled their support and kicked him off the ticket somehow. But they didn't.

Women have been fighting for equality for over 100 years, and this goes to show that under the very thin skin that holds our civilized society together, we revealed that we actually have not changed that much.

I wonder how different the public's response would have been if Hillary was the one that said what Trump said. And defended it the way he did.

“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, you can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful. Otherwise, you would threaten the man. Because I am female, I am expected to aspire to marriage. I am expected to make my life choices always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. Now marriage can be a source of joy and love and mutual support but why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don’t teach boys the same? We raise girls to see each other as competitors not for jobs or accomplishments, which I think can be a good thing, but for the attention of men. We teach girls that they cannot be sexual beings in the way that boys are.” 

― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, We Should All Be Feminists

We like to tout that we are so progressive in America, more so than anywhere else in the world, but that's like sticking our heads in the sand because we're too proud to admit that we actually aren't as progressive as we'd like to believe.

From the responses to Trump from those defending him, or attacking him, it was ugly. It showed we all have more work to do.

I'm just tired of people being ugly to each other. 

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Grow a Thick Skin, or Get Out

"Each new media development has served as a mirror for the society that spawned it. It sure seems time for a good, hard look."   -Jim Rutenberg 

As a journalism student, one of the first things you are told is to grow a thick skin. Your work is constantly being criticized on multiple levels, for multiple things.

I've worked at The Vista, at UCO, for 2.5 years now and have written multiple editorials. My colleagues have as well, and have received a lot of feedback.

There is this saying we have in the newsroom about writing editorials: "If you aren't making someone feel a certain way, whether it's pissing them off or making them happy, you're doing it wrong."

I tried to keep this in mind for my past editorial I wrote, which was very similar to my Stand for Patriotism, Kneel for Liberty blog post. I wrote what I thought, and toned it for the paper, and hoped to get some feedback.

Lo and behold, I get a comment online on it, saying that I am oppressing others with dissenting opinions. Fantastic. I loved that someone took the time to read it, and felt so strongly about what I wrote, that they took the time to leave a comment when they could have read it, and then moved on and done nothing.

I later received another comment that said I should be punished for what I wrote and also said:

"...stand [sic] for what you believe in we don’t need this editor to tell us how to think we could watch cnn [sic] for that."

There were a couple of profanities sprinkled in there, so we deleted the comment, otherwise it would have been posted. But this got me thinking, how much of a thick skin do we, as journalists, need to have?

My co-worker, Sports Editor A. Suave Francisco, wrote a column over the same topic as well. Instead of a comment or two, someone got ahold of his SnapChat account info, and sent him multiple snaps calling him racial slurs and derogatory terms, and I believe he was also told to go die.

All for having a different opinion.

I noted this interesting trend to my professor and he recommended an article to me from the New York Times, titled Hate Speech Bounded by Character Limit Alone. It was an interesting read, written by a Jewish man, Jim Rutenberg, who was attacked multiple times on Twitter because of what he wrote.

He said:

"...I don't know what it's like to be really savaged by Twitter. No one has threatened to rape me or kill me (unless being told to kill myself counts)..."

He goes on to say how he has been told he soils his pants worrying over a Trump presidency, and that he's a "dumbass," as it was so eloquently put by one of his adoring fans.

As writers, how do we grow a thick skin to protect us from the anti-Semitic, racist, and sometimes uneducated responses we get to our articles? Was it like this before social media?

I know I'm not getting death threats or anything like that, but what does being hateful to a writer accomplish? Do people think hurtful words will get them to stop writing?

Internet anonymity is the driving force behind hateful comments to someone with a differing opinion. Hide behind a fake account and your keyboard, and drop a meaningless post about how much that person sucks for not liking strawberries, or something simple like that— then go about your day.

This isn't going to stop as technology progresses; it will probably get worse. Perhaps journalists will have to keep growing thicker and thicker skin, or simply get out, if they don't like how many more people are exposed to their work.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Push it to the limit

Prepare yourselves, America. Times are a changin'.

This isn't supposed to sound like a sales pitch, so I apologize in advance if that's what it sounds like. I'm just still so amazed by this new product that I have planned to purchase one as soon as I get home.

Amazon Dash Buttons. 

Genius. Pure genius.

These amazing little buttons are hooked up to your Amazon Prime account— if you don't have one, you should probably get one.

They're amazing for college students and your regular average joe that hates interacting with other human beings on a day-to-day basis.

There are a plethora of different brands hooked up to these as well. Got the munchies and you're almost out of Doritos? Push a button and you should receive a new bag in two days' time.

Not fast enough for you?

Just wait until the use of delivery drones is super common, and there are even more brands linked to these Amazon buttons. I mean, Domino's in New Zealand is already trying out pizza delivery drones next week, so why not have toilet paper delivery drones, or detergent delivery drones?

The possibilities are blowing my mind.

This IS the drone you're looking for.

Or shoot, what if you're doing laundry and you have GOT to remember to pick up some more detergent, because you keep forgetting it. Just push this little button on your washer, and you can have your favorite detergent delivered to your door before you run out.

I also think it's a little funny, but they also have Trojan buttons, where you can order from 30 different condom types.

Now, let's have some real talk here. I haven't purchased one yet, so I'm not sure about the little details.

I do know that it hooks up to your Amazon app on your phone, so every time you push the button and purchase something, you should receive a notification if you have it enabled.

Some of you may be thinking, "What about people with kids? What if the button gets pushed a lot at once?"

Amazon has an answer for that too. Their site states:

"With this setting, Dash Button responds only to your first press until your order is delivered—regardless of how many times Dash Button is pressed." 

You have pre-sets on your account, so you can always get your favorite flavor of Doritos, or in Trojan's case you get your favorite type of "love socks."

It's just cool to think about how far technology is coming. Who would have thought you could absent-mindedly press a button and it would make your life 20x easier? Especially as someone who is easily distracted at stores, and will leave with things I didn't even know I needed, this button is a lifesaver.

And for those of you who think this is lazy, yeah you're probably right. But, as someone who dreads going to the grocery story for little things that I may have missed during a normal shopping trip, this little button saves me precious time to play more video games or tend to my garden.

It's the little things in life and technology is getting pretty amazing.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Stand for patriotism, or kneel for liberty

Some think it's unpatriotic, some think it's downright disrespectful, and some think it's revolutionary. Either way, everyone can agree that Colin Kaepernick got everyone's attention.

Kaepernick started the controversy when he sat down during the rendition of the national anthem before the beginning of a preseason game in August.

When asked why he sat, he stated:

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. To me, this is bigger than football and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.”

The biggest issue he is trying to bring light to, is that there are people in our country that are being denied basic liberties that others are not. Plain and simple.

USA Women's Soccer player, Megan Rapinoe, also wanted to show support for what Kaepernick started. In an interview with the Associated Press, she stated that she was disgusted with how he was covered by the media and how people were making it about something completely different than it was:

“Being a gay American, I know what it means to look at the flag and not have it protect all of your liberties. It was something small that I could do and something that I plan to keep doing in the future and hopefully spark some meaningful conversation around it... [it's] something that's really powerful.”

Megan Rapinoe kneeling during the national anthem.

Kneeling during the national anthem is a shocking statement, and a powerful one. I believe that it is eerily similar to the sit-ins led by MLK—something that outraged people then too.

Many are outraged over this new form of protest, and are even stating that it is disrespectful toward our troops.

That's hard to believe, simply because these players haven't expressed that it's our military's fault that our society has become what it is.

Some people are so angry about this, that they are boycotting the NFL in protest of the players' silent protest.

Now, the hashtag #boycottNFL is trending, and it has the internet in an uproar.

Good reasons to #boycottNFL:
- Domestic Violence
- Animal abuse
- Drugs
- Etc.

Ignorant reasons to boycott the NFL:
- Peaceful protest

— Amelia E. (@BrowncoatAuror) September 9, 2016

Honestly, it's really infuriating that THIS is what will make people say something about NFL players' behavior. Not standing for an anthem, which is a right given to any citizen, is what will make people angry.

Not a man being released from jail, after only serving 3 months for raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster. Not a man being shot in front of his family in a car, for informing an officer that he had a conceal and carry license.

People are just infuriated that those players aren't standing. I imagine a lot of the people criticizing these players are also doing so, while sitting on their couch during the national anthem, or getting drunk and chatting at a watch party.

There seems to be this illusion in our culture that we are supposed to act like everything is OK, when it isn't.

Sums the situation up pretty well I think.

Someone comes up to you on the street, and asks how you're doing and the appropriate response is, "I'm good" or "I'm OK, you?"

That's what this looks like. People are starting to get pissed now that instead of just going through the motions, NFL players and other athletes are waging a silent, peaceful protest.  Now, these players are being referred to as "entitled," "spoiled," and "ungrateful."

And for those who are saying, "well our troops gave their lives for that freedom and they should show their respect during the national anthem."

No, that's not why we stand during the national anthem.

You stand because you are proud to be an American, and proud of what your country represents. If you feel like you aren't protected, or feel that the American Flag isn't representing all Americans equally, then you shouldn't have to stand for it; that's the rub to giving everyone freedom.

There are holidays made for respecting veterans and those who lost their lives fighting for our freedoms. In our everyday lives, I would like to think that people are respectful toward service men and women when they see them in public. I'm grateful to my dad, my grandpa, and his dad before him, for all of the sacrifices they've had to make to do their jobs, serving our country. But this isn't about them.

The national anthem is about showing patriotism for our country, not our soldiers. It's oppressive to tell these players that they can't express and exercise their first amendment right to a peaceful protest.

If you are on the fence of this issue, just think: should I stand for patriotism, or should I kneel for liberty?

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Remembering lives lost, sipping a Coke

Seeing as our nation is observing the massive amount of lives lost Tuesday, Sept. 11, 2001 this week, let us do some remembering of our own. To do so, we need to travel to a Walmart in Panama City, Florida to take in the display that has everyone up in a twitter.

The display designed by Coke, approved by Walmart.

This image has made its way around the internet this week through a tweet by Shawn Richard, who snapped the photo with the caption: "Florida c'mon man."

As of today, two days after the initial post, the photo has been retweeted over 2,500 times, and a photoshop battle ensued to depict, well you may have guessed it, planes of multiple forms crashing into the "Ground Coke Zero."

First, take a second to really see everything in this picture.

You good? I feel like most people would agree the display is simply in poor taste, right? Many have called it offensive.

Keep in mind, Coke designs these setups, but the displays have to be approved by Walmart.

They've since taken it down, but once something is on the internet, it is there FOREVER.

I have so many thoughts about multiple elements in this display.

• Is it creative that they chose to use Coke Zero, to depict what is now Ground Zero?
• I like the Rollback sign between the two towers, you know, where people were making the decision to jump to a horrific death or burn alive.
• At least the Rollback price isn't 3 for $9.11 
• I appreciate Coca Cola inserting their logo into the flag on the banner.
• Where are the planes? Oh wait, here we go. ---->

After going to Walmart's Twitter page Sept. 8, there has been no mention of this trending topic. Coke's official twitter page has yet to make an official comment that I have seen. 

Perhaps they are both trying to pretend it didn't happen?

Interesting PR move, not that this will stop people from enjoying their products/stores.

Either way, Coke is right: "We Will Never Forget" the day Coca Cola joined the Branding Hall of Shame 2016.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

Smile, Honey, you look prettier that way

I'm not sure when it became OK in our culture to tell people to smile. Now, that first sentence sounds a little ridiculous, because people are just trying to be nice, right?

How about no?

Wrong.

After speaking with multiple women-- since the guys I asked never seemed to have this problem-- they all had a unanimous feeling of annoyance toward the sentiment. Let's take a second to think about when women are told to smile:

• At the grocery store (which most people can agree can be an annoying task by itself)
• At the gas station
• At work
• At the bar (usually as a pick-up line)
• Walking to work
• The gym

This list could be endless.

It's crazy that this is even a thing, because it isn't like this in Europe, or major cities. If someone stops to tell you to smile, you appropriately look at them like they're crazy-- but only if you aren't from the south/ midwest.

Now, out of the around 20 women I spoke to about this, all of them had AT LEAST one story where they had to deal with this awkward situation. I don't want to speak for everyone so I'll tell you about the most awkward instance of this situation from my own past experiences.

I had a co-worker who was very nice and pleasant to work with. He was funny and always had something witty to say. The guy was cool. 

A little background though: he was married and around 25.

Now, this all started my first week at the job, when I was walking to my boss' office. Co-worker guy saw me, and said, "You always look so mad, are you OK?

To which, I answered, "Oh, I promise I'm not mad. I've been told I have Resting Bitch Face, so that's probably it."

He replied, "Well you should smile more, Honey, you look much prettier that way."

An innocent statement right? I mean, it was a little annoying but I'm not one to call someone out for rubbing my nerves the wrong way when I barely know them. Also, if it had simply stopped at that one statement, I would've dropped it and let it be. 

Did he drop it? No. He did not.

Every day for the following two months, if I saw this co-worker in the office, he would stop and tell me to smile. 

But did he leave it at that? No. He did not. 

He would stand there, and wait, and keep saying smile until I forced an awkward smile to appease him.

Why? Why would he think that's OK? Does he do that to male coworkers that also have RBF? Why is it OK in our society for men to force women to smile?

I also want to point out that women are expected to be soft, understanding, and kind, so if we call out a guy for acting creepy, we are labeled as a "bitch" instead of assertive. I shouldn't be told how to feel.

What my coworker did made me uncomfortable, and as an introvert it also gave me a lot anxiety. I know he wasn't hitting on me since he is married, and he wasn't an older gentleman. This was a new generation with the same old problem, so women should look pretty and take it for the compliment it is.

It felt like I had to always look happy to appease the people around me, to make a prettier background for their lives, and that's not OK.

From a recent response from a user on Reddit when this situation came up:

"Jesus Christ people get SO MAD over the smallest things people say. I personally have never told a girl to smile, but it's not meant to be harmful at all, I'm sorry if some dude said it to you at a wrong time but people in this thread are claiming that the guy is objectifying them? Cmon that's a reach, it's a shitty pickup line and an attempt to be "charming" it's not the end of the world. Besides I guarantee if a girl was interested in the guy, and he said some shit like that you bet your ass the girl would be blushing and smiling."

I have to disagree and say that it's not a small thing to tell a complete stranger how to feel, look, or act no matter the situation. It's a huge faux pas, and to say that and not consider what the other person might be going through is an even bigger faux pas.

Imagine telling someone they are prettier when they smile, and they responded that their parent just died?

Would you feel uncomfortable?

Imagine how they feel when they're reminded by a complete stranger why they aren't smiling, if there is a specific reason. Like, hey, maybe I went out for a jog through the park to get my mind off things, not to have some rando remind me of what I came to get my mind off of.

I'm not saying don't greet someone on the street or strike up a conversation with a stranger; that's what makes people more well-rounded and communicating is what makes us human.

The point is: if I am having a bad day, then I shouldn't have to smile. If I don't want to walk around looking like a maniac, then I shouldn't have to smile. And that should be that.

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen

To get the ball rolling...

"We were on a break!" - Dr. Ross Geller, Friends

I like to bring up issues that make people think and debate, because the sharing of clashing opinions helps "keep my mind sharp," as my friend with an old soul said to me recently. I prefer to keep things light-hearted, but sometimes the situation may call for a more in-depth look. No matter where you stand on an issue, I want to hear what you have to say and why. I usually try not to categorize people by their opinions because human beings seem to have certain nuances that make them unique.

One of the many times Ross was wrong about life. Yeah, I'm salty.

Except-- if you take Ross' side in the debate on whether he and Rachel being "on a break" made it OK for him to cheat. Also, if you don't get that reference, then you should take a stay-cation to educate yourself on the cultural phenomenon that is Friends. On a side note, I met a very cool individual who watched Friends episodes for four months, and she learned how to speak English by doing so. Humans are crazy right?

Overall, random things seem to happen to me all of the time that makes me stop and think, and I want to do that with my readers. I feel like people go through the hustle and bustle of their day, in their own world, and don't stop to have open, intellectual conversations as much as they should. Luckily, I think that is starting to change because, thanks to social media, different opinions are more widespread and people start to remember that the pen is mightier than the sword; talking about an issue and debating it encourages the free flow of thought, while fighting about it gets people nowhere.

Either way, I'm excited to start this journey with everyone, so check in next week for the next topic!

     

Sincerely,

                               A Pondering Pen